non·sen·si·cal Jess

Choose Wisely

2009-03-10T17:35:00.006-04:00

As some of you know, Pearls Before Swine is my absolute favorite comic strip. Although I don't read it as often as I'd like since I don't get the Sunday paper anymore (Note to self: I could borrow my neighbors untouched paper... They'd never miss it!). Anyway, I found this particular strip quite funny. Don't hesitate to laugh out loud :o)

Click the strip to see it in it's entirety...

English Lesson

2009-03-04T17:34:00.006-05:00

Today's Vocabulary Words:
specific = pacific
whole = ho

Real World example:
Could you please be mo pacific? I ben aksed fo the ho fixel year.

If you're puzzled by today's lesson, try being more atlantical in your thinking (like my friend Meghan).

The inspiration for Today's English Lesson is generously paid for by your federal tax dollars.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire?

2009-02-27T09:13:00.002-05:00

If politics intrigue you like they do me (I was a PoliSci major), but you simply do not have the time to keep up with which particular politician said what, and whether promises are kept or truths are being told, check out PolitiFact!

PolitiFact is a project of the St. Petersburg Times that assists the public in finding the truth in politics (haha oxymoron?). PolitiFact claims that each day their reporters and researchers examine statements by members of Congress, the president, cabinet secretaries, lobbyists, people who testify before Congress and anyone else who speaks up in Washington. They research their statements, and then rate the accuracy on thier "Truth-O-Meter"– True, Mostly True, Half True, Barely True and False. The most ridiculous falsehoods get their lowest rating – Pants on Fire.

They also rate the consistency of public officials on their Flip-O-Meter using three ratings: No Flip, Half Flip and Full Flop. The site doesn't appear to slant toward the right or left (this appeals to me since I am neither red, nor blue, but Independently purple in my views). Try the below links for your viewing pleasure!

To search for specific individuals

To search by subject

The see how our new President is doing, check out the Obameter

Dear John,

2009-02-12T16:59:00.007-05:00

Oops
Let me start over...

Dear Microsoft,

It was fun while it lasted, but I think it's time we part ways. I need some space. It's not you, it's me. I'll still see you at work, and hopefully we can remain friends.

I will always remember and cherish all of the good times we shared together. All of those times when you refused to do what I asked--hiding files from me, and freezing up for no particular reason at all. Oh, and the humorous way that you displayed the blue screen of death at the most inopportune times.

I appreciate you being there for me when I needed you most throughout school, and when I got my first job, but things change and I've grown up...

Please send all of the items I've left behind to Apple (I think you know him--you two were college roommates).

- Jessica

** DISCLAIMER: This blog post does not, in any way, condone the use of a "Dear John" letter to end an actual, human relationship :o) **

Time

2009-02-06T17:03:00.003-05:00

I was reminded this morning how fragile and short life can be. I think sometimes we forget. This morning, after a year of battling cancer, the father of an old friend of mine passed away. I can't even imagine how my friend, and his family must feel. After hearing the news, I started to think about our constant battle with the clock.

One of my biggest fears is running out of time. Side note to self: I wonder if this is why I don't wear a watch. When I say that I mean in all aspects of that statement--being late to appointments, finishing tasks within the prescribed deadlines, time here on Earth, finding the time to call and write to those I care about, getting home in time to take care of Bella's needs, time to volunteer, enough hours on my timecard, even the time to write this blog... The list goes on!

Our lives our so fast paced and busy these days that it's difficult to find the time to do the things we intend to, like keeping in touch with each other, and just spending more time living each day thankful that we are still here. It's often the case that we all simply manage through our own routines of work, bills, errands, and chores (all of which do have to get done).

Oftentimes, I'll regretfully realize that I put limits on myself with what I have time for. Sometimes it's at the expense of my laundry that is waiting patiently in the hamper to be washed, and other times it's at the expense of family and friends that want to see me. It's difficult to strike that perfect balance of managing it all, but I think a few things are key:

1) Being aware of what is important, and what can wait.
2) Taking time for yourself.
3) Being spontaneous and not always being tied down to a routine or schedule (this one is really difficult for me personally. I always want a plan!)

Mission Complete!

2009-01-28T17:25:00.009-05:00

I can't even imagine losing my dog; especially on a day like today where the sidewalks and roads are covered with ice making it treacherous to be outside. Well, for one little girl in my neighborhood, that is exactly what happened.

I was outside around 4:30 pm trying to walk Bella (more like trying to teach her how to ice skate up the street), when one of my neighbors came around the corner looking for her dog, Rocky. Apparently, Rocky (Yorkshire Terrier) had run off with his leash still attached to him, but sans ID tags. I tried to help find him, but it was too difficult to get around by foot, and Bella wasn't cooperating with me. So, I asked where she lived and memorized the address.

By the time I walked through my door, my heart felt wrenched for the little girl. I couldn't stop thinking about whether Rocky had gotten hit by a car, or if he was scared and cold somewhere. I thought about Bella being lost, and with it getting dark soon I was getting worried. I chastised myself for not doing more to help. I was just about to get in the car to look for him when I grabbed my laptop instead. I went straight for Google. That wasn't much help, so I logged onto Craigs List and posted an ad. On a whim, I searched the Pets section for missing animals, and the ad for Rocky was right on top. My heart was in my throat as I quickly typed an email asking for whoever found him to call me. Within 15 minutes, the lady (Kristen) who found him had picked me up at my front door and we delivered little Rocky home safely. I have to admit, I almost cried because I was so happy.

I guess Rocky ran out into the street in front of Kristen's car. She stopped and he came right over to her, and she picked him up and took him home. Thanks to her and Craigs List, a little girl has her dog back. Mission Complete.

I can't stop laughing :o)

2009-01-11T19:34:00.003-05:00

I'm not a Britney Spears fan (big surprise, I know), so when I heard that The All-American Rejects covered a Britney's new comeback song, Womanizer, I had to check it out. By the way, how many comebacks is she going to try to make? I think there have been at least three by now.

I digress. Sorry.

Check out the video below for a few laughs. The link to the original song is also below (the embed feature was turned off on YouTube). I should forewarn you that once you listen to The All-American Rejects version, you won't be able to get it out of your head. Enjoy!

Original Britney song and video.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T16:17:00.006-05:00

Today has been a sloooow day. Even my schnoodle, Bella, hasn't been very lively today. She's been rather content to just sun bathe on my livingroom floor, or snooze curled up on the sofa. I think I might possibly be the only person I know that didn't wake up with a nasty hangover. My hugs and sympathy to those of you who are still feeling last nights excitement. :o)
xoxo

I'm not much writing resolutions as the result of a new year. However, I do keep running lists in my head and/or journal of things I'd like to do, or improve upon. I gather these up one by one as time passes. I think it's good to reflect on them from time to time--just to determine how much progress has been made, or if a different approach is required. I think the new year is a good time to reflect, add more things to the list, cross some accomplishments off, tweak others, and to count blessings. So, while the world is somewhat asleep and quiet today, that is just what I am doing.

Happy New Year everyone! Best wishes in 2009!!

Try to stay out of the dog house this year, boys :o)

2008-12-18T05:29:00.002-05:00

This is hilarious, and quite possibly true...

Green might be in my palette, but Grinch is not a color...

2008-12-11T20:20:00.006-05:00

It took me awhile, but I think I am finally in the Christmas spirit. I'm not sure if it was visiting Homestead Gardens, the two batches of homemade kahula I made, decorating my Christmas tree, stringing lights on my porch, carefully selecting gifts for friends and family, watching classic holiday movies, or wrapping presents that did it. Somewhere along the way, I managed to transform from Grinch to Holiday Cheermeister.

I've been thinking a lot about the things in my life that I am grateful for and thankful to have. Mostly I am happy for being alive and healthy, and for those who are a part of my life. To me, holidays are about reflection and the coming together of people. I think my Dove Chocolate wrapper pretty much summed it up today, "Togetherness in itself is a holiday treat." I hope you have found some holiday cheer this season. It's a shame not to.

Happy Birthday, Andy :o)

I'm not ready...

2008-11-19T17:31:00.002-05:00

...for forced merriment and joy!!

I'm not sure how it happened, but "The Holidays" ambushed me this year. I don't know if I got distracted by the back-to-back birthdays my friends and relatives shared beginning in August, or if it was the election or something else. I wholeheartedly welcome Thanksgiving with wide open arms (I will never postpone or refuse a holiday that revolves around a giant turkey with all the trimmings!), but I am simply not prepared for Christmas to be here in a month! I'm not quite bah-humbugging it (yet), but I do wish I shared at least some of Will Ferrell's excitement as Buddy in The Elf.

¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Jilly!

2008-11-11T20:16:00.008-05:00

I'm not quite sure where to begin... According to my calculations, we've been friends now for about 15 years. I can't believe it's been that long!

There was a time when we were completely inseparable. Freshman year of high school we ended up having all of the same classes one semester--without even planning it or discussing what we had signed up to take (they do say Scorpios are a bit psychic though). It wasn't until this past year that I found out there was actually a rumor going around school that we were an item.

Then there were a few years where we barely talked. We were just both busy and wrapped up in other things. I wish I could go back and change that, but I can't. I feel like I was asleep at the wheel in my friendships for a period of time. I am so happy though that we've become closer over the past few years. Your friendship means a lot to me, and I am truly lucky. I think everyone should have a Jilly in their life!

Good Morning and Happy Birthday, Jilly :o) I hope you have a wonderful day!

Here are a couple of songs for you to jam out to this morning...

How Ironic

2008-11-03T18:10:00.004-05:00

When I "upgraded" my desktop computer by trading it in for an HP laptop, I never expected to be so disappointed. You see, Windows Vista was just coming out onto the market, and it near was impossible to get XP on a new laptop. So, I shrugged it off, figuring that Vista couldn't be that bad.

Insert sarcastic snort or throat clearing sound coupled with an almost incoherent "bull s#@%" here please.

Vista, Internet Explorer, and Microsoft's inability to make decent products have left me wanting something more. So, I'm holding a bake sale for my Mac Fund. I will be accepting donations, and in exchange I will bake you a cake, cookies, brownies, or whatever :o)

Oh, and ironically enough... Right as I was about to post this very blog yesterday, my computer knowing shutdown on me for no apparent reason. I think it knows I'm trying to replace it. Shhhh....

I might be allergic to Colorado in the fall :o(

2008-10-15T17:16:00.037-04:00

Well, I definitely had an interesting and fun trip out to Littleton Colorado to see Heather. Sometimes, when there is just too much to write, I prefer a list. So, here goes (in order)...

1.Sweet Tomatoes all you can eat buffet
2.Red Rocks Park & Amphitheater
3. Max (Heather's dog)
4. Meeting Ilyse's softball team
5.Coors Brewery tour (tipsy at 2 in the afternoon after less than 2 pints)
6. The best hole in the wall, off the beaten path Irish pub ever
7. Ilyse's birthday!
8. Indian Food (yum)
9. Trip to Swedish Southwest Urgent Care due to an unknown allergic reaction
10.Evergreen
11. Picking out a pumpkin
12. Heathers cooking (mmm) and the hospitality of her and her roommate Ilyse
13. Passing out from Benadryl while watching Run Fat Boy Run
14. Second trip to Urgent Care
15. Downtown Boulder (Pearl St)
16. Best burritos ever at Illegal Pete's
17. Singing Bowls
18. Parking ticket - 15 minutes too late to the meter!
19. Lookout Mountain
20. Buffalo Bill's Grave
21. Best dog park ever! (Chatfield)
22. Seeing elk 10 feet from the car
23. Chocolate chip pumpkin cookies
24. Lookout Mountain at night
25. Finding out there is a World Market in Chevy Chase

Priceless :o)

I'm Leaving on A Jetplane...

2008-10-09T17:58:00.004-04:00

I'm flying out to Colorado tomorrow to see Heather!!

yay :o)

I'm sure I'll have a story or two to share when I get back. Have a great weekend!

xoxo!!
Nonsensical Jess

Nonsense as Usual

2008-10-06T18:46:00.008-04:00

Let the games begin...
It's one month from the Presidential election, and we've officially entered the finger pointing stage that I like to refer to as "operation character degradation."

You know how this part goes... It's just like sibling rivalry.

"Moooommmm! He's looking out my window!"
"Mooooommmmm! He took my GI Joe!"
"Mooooooooommmmmm!!!!"

What is this? Third grade? There's about to be a playground scuffle. I wonder who will be involuntarily led to the Principal's office for time out.

In recognition of our supposed leaders not acting as adults, enjoy this clip from Jib Jab.

On another election topic... There is a BIG push to get people to register to vote, which is fine. I think people should vote. However, I don't think people should blindly do so. Voting is a right, and shouldn't be abused. It's everyone's civil duty to pay attention to what is going on in our nation and world. If you can't take it upon yourself to do some research before casting your ballot, you shouldn't even bother exercising your vote. People fought and died for the freedoms we enjoy. At least have the common courtesy to exercise them with some forethought and respect.

Alright... I'm stepping down from my soapbox.

This message was brought to you by Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was born he came out feet first so that he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

I do?

2008-09-04T18:42:00.007-04:00

Four years ago today I walked down the aisle to "Here Comes the Bride" looking toward a future that I thought was bright. I remember feeling somewhat numb. I wasn't happy or sad per say, but somewhat emotionless. I smiled and laughed because it was my wedding day. I was after all the blushing bride.

I never fantasized or envisioned my wedding day growing up, or even when I got engaged, but I can clearly remember thinking that I didn't feel like I should have. Marriage was the next logical step in my life, and not knowing any better, I was satisfied that I was meeting all the expectations that I was destined to fulfill. I had committed to being married, and I wanted nothing more to have have what my parents had (a happy marriage, kids, a house, etc.) and to fulfill the illusion of happiness that everyone around me saw when they looked at me and my husband-to-be. Walking away didn't seem like an option, and I had already come so far. I've never been one to give up on something that I've started.

I cannot even express in words how happy I am that today is no longer my anniversary. After a period of adamantly announcing I will never get married again and marriage is overrated, I've come to realize that it isn't the idea of marriage that I'm opposed to. What bothers me is marriage for the sake of it being "the next step" (really anything for that matter that is deemed by society as the next logical step in life).

Some people harshly judged me for getting divorced. Some people alienated me. If those people truly knew what led me to feel as if I had no other option than ending my marriage, I think they would understand. No one ever really has any idea of what happens behind closed doors in other peoples homes. I suppose it's sometimes easier to make assumptions about other people.

The day my marriage ended was the day I began to live my life for me. I finally started to consider what I wanted for once. It has taken some time, but I finally feel as though I truly know who I am and what my place is in this world. I hardly recognize who I used to be, and that's a tough realization. It's a realization that can make a person yearn for lost time.

I've come to realize that people aren't stagnant; we are all meant to change as our surrounding environment and circumstances change. I'm learning that change isn't necessarily a bad thing, and that it's something to be embraced. I'm also learning that your life is what you make it; no one can tell you how you should be living it.

I may get married again. I might have kids one day. It doesn't all have to be decided now though. At the moment, I'm taking it one day at a time. I have no idea what the future holds, and for the first time ever, I'm okay with that :o)

Happy Birthday, Meg!

2008-08-22T21:24:00.004-04:00

Good Morning :o) Happy Birthday! I hope this coming year is one filled with pleasant surprises at every turn.

I know lately you've been wrestling with thoughts of where you are and where life will take you. We are all trying to find our places in this world; a world that often seems upside down and full of the unexpected and unanticipated. Plans are meant to be changed, bent, and molded. There are no rules, and that's the beauty of it. You're not bound by societal expectations,nor the expectations of friends and family, because at the end of the day you are the only one you have to answer to.

Think of each day as an adventure. There's nothing adverse to walking down the path less traveled. Take it from me, I did all of the things I thought were "expected" of me, but I eventually turned around and hauled ass the other way without looking back. There's something to be said for not being ordinary, and taking the time to figure out who you are and want you want.

I hope you have a wonderful day today. Jilly and I have been secretly planning your birthday via email for some time now to make it special for you :o)

PS Thank goodness we're not Playboy bunnies... 27 = 59 in "bunny years"

Love at First Site (that's not a typo)

2008-08-18T21:39:00.005-04:00

I've fallen in love. He's sleek, masculine, sensitive, reliable, a wealth of knowledge, dark and mysterious, and there when I need him.

His name?

It's Touch. iPod Touch.

He's the reason I have disappeared lately from the blog world. It's so easy to check my e-mail, Google tidbits of information, check the weather, read news, listen to my music... and so on. My poor computer hasn't seen much of me in the past month. I'm not sure what he (computer) expected though. Apple always beats Microsoft in roshambo (especially when Microsoft is harboring Vista).

Baby Girl

2008-08-12T18:09:00.003-04:00

Bernie Mac passed away over the weekend.

It's sad when anyone dies, but I think it's especially disheartening when someone relatively young leaves so unexpectedly. Comedy has much to mourn. I know I'm going to miss him.

I used to watch the Bernie Mac Show with my parents when I was in college. Bernie cracked me up the way he would go into his den and speak directly to the camera, often addressing the audience as 'America.' He'd say, "Do you hear that America?! Those darn kids..." and go off on some tirade. I used to walk around the house quoting lines from the show and laughing. My mom even started referring to me as Baby Girl, which is what Bernie calls his youngest niece Bryana (played by Dee Dee Davis) in the show.

Generational Gap?

2008-07-31T19:30:00.005-04:00

I went to Home Depot last Saturday evening to pick up paint for my bedroom (that probably says enough right there... the Depot at 9 pm on a Saturday!). I was browsing through colors, but was distracted by four high school aged boys who were hovering over the color swatches while talking loudly. I was becoming annoyed. I began momentarily happy when a familiar song came over the loud speaker--Counting Crows' Mr. Jones
.

My happiness faded quickly when one of the kids began to sing the song, changing it stylistically and butchering it in the process. It was painful to hear. I wished that they would just leave.

His singing was interrupted by the groups debate over the name of the band singing the song. They were going back and forth until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around to face the group, and said in my most matter-of-fact voice, "This is the Counting Crows." Then I grumbled something about how the song came out when I was in middle school (1993). I think I surprised myself. I felt old. I'm sure at first glance they probably thought I was around their age.

...Blank stares and silence...
I turned back around to my paint swatches.

The boys walked away. Mission Shut Up and Vacate accomplished!

I'm not sure when my intolerance for teenagers began. I guess somewhere between college and my first "real job," I started getting older. I find myself saying some of the same things my parents did when I was a kid. It's scary. I know it's only a matter of time before I utter the words, "when I was a kid" or "you'll understand when you're an adult" or "because I said so."

Anyhow, I eventually settled on a lovely deep and earthy shade of purplish brown called Bitter Briar (Behr #720B-5). I am pleased :o)

Today's Lesson: Don't do drugs

2008-07-23T06:13:00.003-04:00

This message brought you you by:

"Knowing is half the battle!"

Lost and [Surprisingly] Found

2008-07-22T17:27:00.005-04:00

I haven't been too terribly impressed or patient with the public lately. It seems every time I have to leave my home to run an errand, I encounter someone incredibly rude and/or inconsiderate. Typically, these actions aren't something I have to witness first hand. Rather, they are observed behaviors (I'm always very aware of everything that's going on around me). I don't understand why people have such a sense of entitlement these days. It baffles me.

These were my thoughts as I got ready for work this morning...

I arrived at work about the same time as usual. A couple hours into my day, I realized that I had lost my bracelet. Somewhere between my car and the front door of my work building (it's quite a distance), I lost the little bracelet that I bought at an Indian Trading Post in Arizona. The bracelet wasn't anything terribly expensive. It was something I could have crafted easily by myself, but it was sentimental since I bought it on my trip to the Grand Canyon with "the girls." I was a bit sad about it, and trudged back downstairs to retrace my steps. I was certain I'd have no luck and someone would have scooped up my jewelry. Finders keepers, right?

Halfheartedly, I approached the security guard in the lobby, and asked if someone had turned in a bracelet. When he didn't immediately say no, and he went to get something behind him, I glanced to where he was reaching and saw my bracelet! I signed for it, thanked the guard, and headed back up to my desk smiling the whole way.

The kindness of a stranger returning my lost item seemed to be a direct answer to my earlier disgruntled thoughts regarding the public. People aren't all that bad, and not everyone is selfish. I knew these things deep down, but this kind act was a nice reminder.

So, you think you can dance?

2008-07-10T20:47:00.010-04:00

Oops... This isn't prime time television. I meant 'write' rather than dance.

This is a homework assignment for all of my die hard readers. Yes, I'm speaking directly to all three or four of you out there, so wake up!

Writing about yourself can be difficult, and unless I have a story that I think other people might find humorous, I don't like to do it. Hence, I wrote my Blogger profile in about 45 seconds. I'd like to replace it with something else.

That's where you come in :o)

If you're so inclined, and/or bored at work on Friday, write a new profile for me and submit it via the comments section of this post. It can be funny, silly, short and sweet, or whatever. AND just like journalism, as long as it dances around the truth, it's all good.

If I choose to post your submission as my new profile description, I promise you instant fame!

haha

Okay, perhaps I stretched the truth a tad in that last statement. However, people will take notice of you for being being able to wield a pen and paper (I mean keyboard) with such ease and skill.

My New Favorite Song

2008-07-07T21:25:00.003-04:00

Sorry I've been slacking on the posts. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, but rather that I've been quite lazy.

I recently downloaded a new song called A Song I Thought I Heard by Kenji Shinagawa (click on 'Music' once the link launches the site). It pretty much sums up my current mood... A bit somber, but upbeat... Reflective, hopeful, and a tad melancholy--all at the same time.

Special thanks to Tommy for leading me to Kenji's site.

Working Girl!

2008-06-27T09:21:00.005-04:00

I know what you're thinking. Erase that guttered thought from your memory--not that kind of working girl.

I've decided that Bella needs to stop mooching off of me. It's time she got a J-O-B! Yes, folks, Bella needs to start earning her keep. I've decided that I'm going to fill out a volunteer application for Pets on Wheels.

She's such a sweet dog that I want to share her with other people.

Bella & I are TV Stars!

2008-06-21T10:45:00.003-04:00

Last night I was walking Bella and Dante (I'm dog-sitting a neighbor's Bassett Hound), when a news crew for WJZ pulled over and interviewed me on the side of the road about a sexual assault in my hood (yes, you heard me correctly--I said 'hood'). Check out the story and video!

Don't worry, we won't forget all the little people we had to step on to make it to the top. :p haha

I'm Baaaack!

2008-06-13T17:34:00.010-04:00

So, I made it home from vacation in one piece last Friday. A week has passed, and I've been trying to get back into my usual routine. After two days of being home, one of my friends called me a slacker for not having written a blog since I returned. I have to admit, after being away for a week in very fake and unrealistic world (Vegas is like another planet), I was a little shell-shocked when I got home. I realized very quickly that I do have responsibilities and demands on my time. I had forgotten that during vacation. Welcome to the adult world I guess.

A note before I begin...
I'd like to give a shout-out to Meghan for her most recent article in The Nervous breakdown. It's hilarious, and a must read! Love ya, Meg :)

Ok, back to business. Vacation highlights will come at a later date. I want to talk about last Saturday right now.

What better way to end a week long vacation than by going to Timb0's Second Annual Big A$$ BBQ?!? I honestly couldn't tell you. If you responded with an answer, you're wrong. Sorry. There is no better way to end a week away from home than with Tim's Big A$$ BBQ.

Last year's BBQ was awesome. We drank beer, and ate (lots and lots of BBQ). mmm... BBQ :) Tim makes some of the best beef brisket and pulled pork I have ever had. So, naturally when he began planning another get-together, he didn't have to ask me (or Meg) twice.

I'm going to digress for a moment...

The day that Meg, Jill, and I arrived in Vegas we got a little tipsy and decided to check our email on the computers designated only for conference-goers (which Meg was a part of, but she wasn't wearing her badge at the time!). I know, we're trouble makers. Anyway, I logged into Gmail, and an email update from Tim was sitting in my inbox. It was a detailed list of what to expect on the big BBQ day. It was pretty entertaining, and complete with a detailed FAQ.

I decided to write him back...

Dear Tim,

We are drunk and in Vegas. Btw, it took me 5 times to type that correctly....
I am bringing MEATBALLS. Yes, I am the girl bringing more meat to the BBQ.
Jilly is excited to meat (meet--the meat was me drunk) you.

Stop drinking about Meg naked. haha I said drinking.

See ya SATURDAY
Love,
The Girls (not boobs, GIRLS)

It still makes me giggle :)

Needless to say, we had a wonderful time! We drank (some more than others... *ahem* Meg and Jill: "Sure, we'll take a shot of moonshine!"), and we ate (did I mention the pulled pork and brisket?). Although, I was the sober one, I still managed to take a random photo of Jill's legs by accident.

Needless to say, good times were had by all! I can't wait for the next one.

Fall-BBQ anyone?

"Gonna sell my car and go to Vegas..."

2008-05-31T17:29:00.008-04:00

Well, sort of... I'm not selling my car, but I am going to Vegas. My two best friends (pasted to your right for your viewing pleasure) and I are packing our bags, and heading to the city that never sleeps. We even planned a day trip to the Grand Canyon. I'm sure I'll have some interesting stories when I return... Have a wonderful week!

Not my finest hour (err... 2 minutes)

2008-05-28T21:04:00.002-04:00

Note: I am not going to debate that what you're about to read is kind of gross, but anyone who knows me will understand that it must have been pretty bad for me to do this (you'll find out what this is shortly). Quite honestly, I really don't care what anyone thinks, nor am I embarrassed. I'm just happy I can laugh about it. By now you're probably wondering what I did, so I will begin my story...

My alarm went off this morning, and I popped right out of bed and immediately began singing Happy Birthday to Bella. Coffee cup in hand, I took her on a longer morning walk than usual.

Today through Friday I'm commuting to Rockville for training. Rather than take back roads like I have done for past trainings, I decided to attempt the beltway. Unsure of what to expect I wanted to make sure I had enough time to make it to my 9 o'clock class. I was pretty pleased that I managed to be on the road by 7:20 am. I used the restroom before leaving, and poured the rest of my coffee in a travel mug to take with me. I figured I'd be ok in the potty break department until I arrived at my destination.

Wrong Story!!

I was cruising along 95 at a good pace when suddenly with about 5 more miles until the beltway, I hit a wall of traffic moving along at a turtle's pace. The time was 7:45 am. I still had plenty of time. I cranked up my music (did I mention I love my iPod?) determined not to let the traffic alter my mood, and I began to sing along.

About the time I merged onto the beltway (15 miles into my commute, and about 45 minutes after getting into the car), I had to pee pretty badly. I prayed that 495 wasn't backed up. I only had about 12 more miles to go until I reached my training location. Well, by the time I was a couple exits from Rockville Pike I had to pee so badly that I couldn't sit still, I was shaking, and cursing other drivers to get the heck out of my way. I kept glancing at my travel mug--unrealistically thinking I could use it to help out my situation. A flash of me pulling over on the beltway, passenger doors open to block me peeing on the side of the road popped into my head. I quickly dismissed both ideas as poor choices.

I headed the wrong way on Rockville Pike by accident, but I didn't care. I was searching for a public restroom. I saw nothing... Trees... Subdivisions... A metro and a hospital (both too difficult to get into with the parking situations). I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't think clearly. I felt intoxicated. I've NEVER had to pee this badly.

I turned quickly into a subdivision and spotted a house converted into a real estate business. I squealed into the parking lot. Grabbing my keys, I ran around to the front of the house. Surely if I knocked on a stranger's door, they would let me use their restroom. I look innocent enough, right? Don't answer that.

*knock*knock*knock*

Silence...

Birds Chirping...

I danced around on the porch while I surveyed the neighborhood. All was quiet. It was approximately 8:35 am. I decided that I had to go or I was seriously going to pee my pants. I walked around to side of the house. There was a three-foot drop down to the backyard. I proceeded. With the short wall, bushes and trees--I was completely out of view from neighbors, windows, and the back parking lot. I dropped my pants. Hastily, I pulled them back up. The rational side of me chastises, "What are you doing?!? You can't do this!" The other side of me screams loud and clear, "Do it or you'll have an accident!"

ahh... sweet relief

Some say that the "world is a man's toilet" because they can whip it out and can go anywhere--bypassing lines and rules. Well, apparently so can I! Definitely not my finest couple of minutes, but at least I can find the humor in it.

Bee-la!

2008-05-26T13:10:00.001-04:00

My baby is turning 3 on Wednesday (May 28th)! Or, in dog years, she's 25!

It's hard for me to remember not having a dog. When I was 4 or 5, my parents brought home this little bundle of fur that we named Buffy. She was a great little mutt of a dog. Buffy went with us everywhere--from canoing and camping in Virginia, to road trips to Michigan, and to Italy and back. By the time Buffy was 19 (or 89 in human years), old age had gotten the best of her. Rather than see her suffer we had to let her go. I was so sad. Buffy was as much a part of our family as any of us were. It wasn't very long before I decided I wanted another dog. Life just wasn't the same without one.

In the spring of 2005 I discovered the Schnoodle, and soon after stumbled upon Liberty Schnauzers/Schnoodles. I put a deposit down, and asked if I could get a female puppy without the tail docked. The lady instructed me that she would then have to choose the puppy for me because tails are docked within a couple weeks of birth. I told her that was okay. Well, I have to say... I really think she choose the best puppy out of the litter.

Bella was the most adorable puppy. She was jet black with a white 'V' on her chest and white on her little paws. She had a tiny patch of white under her mouth (a little "soul patch" if you will). She was ready for any event in her little tuxedo. She had more white on her than any of her siblings. In the beginning Bella was shy, but it didn't take long for her to come out of her shell. She's playful, intelligent, and very sweet. She loves other dogs, but is naturally drawn to people. I couldn't ask for a better dog. The saying, "dog is a man's best friend," really does hold true.

Happy Birthday, Bella!

Tuesday's Funny

2008-05-20T21:03:00.004-04:00

hahaha...

Wait a minute! I have a blog! :o)

Public Service Announcement

2008-05-16T06:20:00.002-04:00

This is very serous. Everyone should watch this PSA. Please talk to your kids, if you haven't already.

Happy Friday!

Can you Digg it?

2008-05-14T17:38:00.004-04:00

I was shocked today when one of my friends said he had never heard of Digg.com. After thinking about it for a bit, I came to the conclusion that my friend probably isn't living under a rock, as I initially thought.

I decided it was my duty to bring the joy of Digg to the world, or at least to the small readership of this blog. :o) If you don't already know what Digg.com is and you're still reading this blog, I am surprised that you haven't already clicked on the link above to begin surfing--leaving non.sen.si.cal Jess behind as a faint memory.

So, what is Digg?

In a nutshell, Digg is place to see what everyone else is looking at on the internet. You'll find a wide array of information on the site... Ranging from news to funny videos, information on new technologies, or entertainment and sports related stuff, and much more! Digg seems to have everything, and the greatest thing of all is that there are no editors! Sites are submitted by regular joe-shmo's, and if the link receives enough backing (by lots of people clicking the 'Digg It' button or submitting the site to Digg), then the site will be promoted to Digg's homepage for millions of visitors to see it.

There are other sites out there like Digg, but I haven't really explored them. When you have some time on your hands, you should check them out. A cautionary warning before you settle down in front of your computer... It's really easy to get sucked into a site like Digg. There's so much information on it, and next thing you know you've clicked through 20 pages. My suggestion is to leave some bread crumbs along the way so that you will be able to find your way home. Enjoy!

My 2¢ for the Day

2008-05-13T17:44:00.006-04:00

I was a PoliSci major in college with a concentration in Public Policy and Administration, and while I try not to engage in political discussions, I've posted my 2 cents below in regard to the Presidential Election.

I try to look at the candidates like I would a business arrangement with a company that I don't deal with in person--pretty faceless, but with a clearly defined mission and role. I think it is a big mistake to look at gender and/or race as a contributing factor in whom to vote for. Setting political affiliation aside, the values and priorities of each candidate should be carefully examined. You might be surprised what you find...

I may elaborate on this in further detail later, but something to keep in mind when doing candidate research (and please do not tell me if you don't do any research and rely solely on televised news for your information--that's too painful for me to hear) is to investigate outside of the candidate's personal web page that they paid to have created. No candidate is going to say anything negative on their own site that was created to generate votes. Examine from all possible angles with a magnifying glass.

Leave no rock unturned, people!

Pay it Forward

2008-05-12T20:51:00.006-04:00

One of the best feelings in the world (for all parties involved) is to bestow the gift of kindness to another person--and for no particular reason at all.

Random acts of kindness come in all forms. It can be as simple as a compliment or gesture, or something much more complex. No matter what form, the act itself is a display of pure selflessness. The giver never requests praise or acknowledgment in exchange for their kindness. A kind act left to be discovered by it's recipient is somehow more meaningful. It's like finding buried treasure.

Knowing someone cares enough to be so thoughtful is such a wonderful feeling. All the person on the receiving end can do is smile and offer a sincere and wholehearted thank you.

I cannot list all of the times someone has done something nice for me, but here are a few examples of random acts of kindness (and a reminder of what awesome friends I have)...

* After her recent trip home to New Hampshire, Meg presented me with a blanket her mom made for Bella (for no particular reason). A month or so later, probably because Bella refused to share, Meg presented me with my own handmade blanket. I was speechless.

* Last week I purchased a new faucet for my kitchen. I hadn't had the time to install it, nor to make a trip to Depot to get replacement water lines for the copper ones that were already there. I came home from a weekend in Virginia to find that while I was gone, an elf (Andy) had come over and done all the work. He even cleaned up after himself! For an moment I thought I was in the wrong condo. I was slightly confused, and pleasantly surprised. All I could do was smile when I saw what he had done for me.

* Last year, when I was going through some difficult times, on top of a divorce, I received an unexpected letter in the mail from my friend Randy. He wrote just to tell me how proud he was of me for being so strong, and to say how much he admired me for how I managed to remain positive and keep my chin up through it all. He reminded me that I have friends who care and are willing to listen and help however they can. This letter was a huge morale booster for me during this time. I was taking on more changes in my life than anyone should have to deal with at one time.

It's simple things like the ones above that mean so much to those who receive them. Those on the giving end feel great about what they've done as well. In all of the cases I've described the kind acts were a surprise, and those who gave didn't want or ask for anything in return.

I challenge you all to pay it forward--just like in the movie... Except, in this case, don't wait for someone to do something kind and completely random and wonderfully unexpected before you do something for someone else. Be the person who starts it.... Make someone's day. I will bet that in doing so, you make your own day too.

Rollin' down the street

2008-05-06T20:35:00.006-04:00

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Well... it was technically the right side of the bed, but I was less that happy getting up so early. I decided I would try to lighten up and redirect my thoughts to something positive while driving.

Have you ever had one of those moments that you know could turn your mood completely upside down, even though you know you shouldn't dwell on it? My mood was already poor when I woke up, and even though I knew I shouldn't let this one thing bother me... I did just that. So begins my story, which is somewhat of a rant and pretty much nonsensical (appropriate for this blog!).

So, travel mug in hand, I sipped my coffee and thought about the day ahead while navigating my way down the road. I tried to figure out why I woke up so grumpy, and decided I would try to dismiss the bad dreams that caused me to sleep so poorly.

I was going along on my merry way until it was time to merge onto Rt 100. I followed the ramp around, turned my signal on, and prepared to merge. Traffic was unusually heavy this morning. I saw an opening, and double checked my mirrors before moving over. Out of no where, this BMW zips into the space where I was going to merge. I speed up slightly, and the BMW increased it's speed to match mine. I was getting slightly irritated, considering that the BMW was going at a reasonable speed until he saw that I was going to close the gap between him and the next car by merging off the ramp.

It becomes a game of increased speeds.

I decided to call his bluff and move over. I doubted that the driver of the Beamer wanted to damage the front end of his precious car by kissing the rear bumper of my measly Altima. He let me over against his will, and then slowed down significantly. It's early, and my obscenity sensor in my brain must have still been asleep because all I could come up with to call him is a "jerk head." I had to laugh out loud to myself.

I continued up a mile or so to my exit. I noticed the BMW a few hundred yards behind me also taking the same exit. I decided to slow down because I was still a bit ticked off at this early morning display of arrogance on the road. I approached the red light slowly, and the Beamer didn't have the nerve to pull up beside me. I moved into the left lane, so that he was forced to be beside me. He still refused to pull up completely! The light changed, and I proceeded at a turtle pace. He finally pulled up parallel to my car. I looked over and glared my meanest, "what the hell are you doing so freakin' early in the morning driving like that?" glare. I know I was being equally as idiotic as him, but I didn't care. The guy refused to look at me. He just zipped on by to cut me off and make a left turn.

Once he was gone, a rhetorical question popped into my mind.

[Insert disclaimer here about stereotypes and vague/misleading/illogical statements, blah, blah, blah...]

Why is it that jerks always drive BMW's?

Now, the reverse doesn't hold true necessarily. Not everyone that drives a BMW is a jerk, but I think the first part is pretty accurate. This morning wasn't my first experience with a jerk-Beamer driver.

*sigh*

This is where I wish I had a Trunk Monkey to take care of all the "jerk heads" on the road....

¡Dos de Mayo!

2008-05-02T16:00:00.008-04:00

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo a few days early...

Have you ever worked with a group of people who were so fabulous that you still keep in touch?

Well... I have!

I worked on a project for 2 years that ended last fall. It was sad when we went our separate ways because we all got along so well. However, we still periodically get together for happy hour to catch up.

Last year we decided to have a Cinco de Mayo happy hour after work. So, in keeping with that tradition, and because I was dubbed "Team Mom" (since I used to arrange all potlucks, breakfasts, and birthday/special event celebrations), I organized this year's happy hour a few days earlier. After a margarita or two, I will refer to it as, "¡Cinco de Dos!"

So, on this beautifully sunny Friday... Go sit outside and enjoy a nice cocktail, and toast to good friends and coworkers :o)

Rock On

2008-05-01T20:14:00.011-04:00

To continue on the same thread as my last couple of posts, the iPod rolls in at number three (although this list is in no particular order) on my favorite things list. I really wouldn't know what I'd do without them (yes, I have more than one--two to be exact). I take my iPod Nano pretty much everywhere I go. My other iPod sits in my docking station at home, which I sometimes leave on for Bella to listen to while I'm at work. In case you don't know, Bella is my dog... so don't go calling social services on me if you're thinking I'm leaving a small child home alone without supervision! :)

I'm constantly adding songs to my playlists. Some my most recent additions are:

Sun Red Sky Blue by Kenna
Vegas by Sara Bareilles
(I'd go the) Whole Wide World by The Monkees (Will Ferrell's rendition in Stranger than Fiction)

Just to explain how much I depend on this precious object that Macintosh has dubbed the 'iPod,' here's one of rants from June 2007:

So... I dropped my iPod on the brick floor in the kitchen about a week ago, and I think I killed it. The image it displayed (see below) would have been humorous had it belonged to someone else. I'm sure I'll laugh about it when Best Buy's Geek Squad fixes and returns it to me, but in the mean time I'm forced to listen to the radio play the same 10 songs over and over again. Not to mention the radio personalities' chatter regarding ridiculous stuff... like a woman who slept with 5 guys, including one of her first cousins, and is pregnant by one of them (by the way, she is secretly hoping her "baby daddy" is the cousin!). OR people who have placed tracking devices on their significant others' cars. Why don't they talk about things that actually matter... People in our society know the latest celebrity gossip, but have no idea what's going on in the world (that's a whole other rant). As if the chatter isn't enough, commercial breaks seem to last a good 3-5 minutes. If I hear another Empire Carpet commerical, I swear I'm going to crack. Maybe I'm listening to the wrong stations, but I assure you I scanned through everything that was available. Since I'm cut off from the outside world at work, I'd like to listen to actual music on my way into and home from the office. Is that too much to ask? Maybe I've been spoiled by having an uninterrupted stream of music at my fingertips, but I'm kind of wondering what happened to quality radio...

Trader Joe's Coffee

2008-04-30T19:24:00.009-04:00

Favorite thing #2
If you've never been to Trader Joe's, you should definitely make a trip to your local store. Their prices are pretty reasonable, and just like the website boasts, it's where "adventure and tasty treasures are discovered, every day."

Every time I'm there, I have to pick up a can of their Colombia Sumatra Coffee (dark roast). I buy the whole bean (also comes ground if you prefer it that way), and I grind it at home before brewing it. Add a little creamer (not milk--has to be creamer!) and some sugar, and mmm mmm MMM it's amazing!

Just ask my friend, Meg, who begs me to bring her a cup whenever I'm meeting her somewhere in the morning. She said something about it being the best thing she's ever tasted, and that she often dreams of it... or something like that. To be honest with you, I am pretty sure she fabricates excuses to see me on weekend mornings--just for a cup of this amazing coffee.

Favorite Things

2008-04-29T20:20:00.017-04:00

This morning as I was getting ready for work, don't ask me why, but I was thinking about Oprah's annual "Favorite Things" week. I have always wanted to be a member of the audience for one these shows. One of the most fantastic parts of this show is the reaction of the audience when they realize they are about to receive tens of thousands of dollars in awesome gifts. It's probably the most sought-after studio audience ticket in all of TV land, and because people would do anything to get a seat, Oprah has made it a tradition not to announce when the show will be taped.

Just for fun, I thought I would bring you some of my favorite things this week. I'll start with the Kinder Egg.

Some of you may know that I spent four years of my childhood (1987 - 1991) in Italy. In case you're wondering... yes, I was an Army brat :) Anyhow, Kinder Eggs were one of my favorite things growing up. I was just reminded of this recently when my cube buddy brought me a couple from a recent trip to Germany.

Kinder Eggs were launched by an Italian company (Ferrero) in 1972. They were introduced to Canada in 1975. Why we don't have them in the US, I am not entirely sure. Something about a choking hazard... I don't know. All I know is that I love them so much, I once bought a case in Mexico. I'm pretty sure I ate all of them too!

Kinder Eggs are about the size of a regular chicken egg. The egg consists of a thin outer shell made of milk chocolate. The inner side of the shell is white chocolate. The egg is hollow, except for the yellow plastic capsule that contains a little plastic toy (the "Kinder Surprise"). The toy is the best part! Forget those little Cracker Jack toys, or the rinky-dinky things you get from McDonald's. Just to make it interesting, these tiny sized toys are often accompanied by Ikea-style assembly instructions. The one I opened last night had a Homer Simpson action figure in it, complete with a little "Top Secret" briefcase (I suspect this is where Homer hides his donuts). I was quite pleased. He is now standing on the top of my flat panel at work.

So, if you're ever in Europe, Canada, or Mexico (or you can otherwise get your hands on one), you should definitely try a Kinder Egg. They're fun for boys and girls of all ages!

It's more than just physical...

2008-04-28T19:41:00.010-04:00

I'm discovering a new part of myself, the philanthropic side. During college I worked at a nonprofit as an intern. I liked it so much that I continued to work there after graduation as a salaried employee. I eventually moved on to a different industry. Even with my nonprofit work experience I can already see how volunteering will prove to be much more rewarding. I think it's because it takes commitment and a bit of sacrifice to set aside personal time to help others. It may also be because of the cause I will be helping.

On Saturday, when I would normally would have been chilling in my pajamas on my porch enjoying a cup of steaming hot coffee with Bella curled up next to me, I was instead driving to my local domestic violence center for my first day of volunteer training (6 hours). I was running a little bit late, which is not normal for me. I wish I had left a bit earlier so that I wasn't the last to arrive. I could have also done without seeing a goose get hit by a pickup truck, but that's another story.

I was very impressed at the training the Center offered. We had 11 people there; 3 of which were recent hires. The staff is pretty young, and very excited about the work they do. I felt very much at home among them. We started out with introductions, and a group activity. The goal of the first activity was to put us in the shoes of a victim of domestic violence. Without going into all of the details of the activity, I can say that I think everyone, to a degree, felt how a victim might feel. It was an eye opening experience for some.

The Center does a lot of education regarding domestic violence. Much of their education is directed towards teens. Young adults aren't always aware of what's normal in a relationship. They may not understand someone being possessive or calling you 14 times in a row is not healthy. Learning what signs to watch for is really important. It's easy to get sucked into a relationship at a young age, and to just tolerate unhealthy behavior without knowing better. Before long, one person is controlling the other, and the controlled person feels trapped and helpless.

Before I get off on a tangent, I'd like to share some things I learned in training. First off, I'd like to say that I was pretty shocked to discover that when the average person hears the term "domestic violence," they typically only associate it with physical violence. In fact, it's much more than that. You should think of "domestic violence" as "domestic abuse."

Domestic violence includes the following areas: physical (hitting, biting, kicking, etc.), sexual (rape, forced oral sex, pedophilia, etc.), mental/emotional (manipulation, telling someone you will harm yourself if they leave, etc.), verbal (name calling, yelling, talking down to a person, etc.), and financial (confiscating your partners paycheck, giving an allowance, making them work more/less, etc).

Now, I know what you may be thinking... We're all human. You may have yelled at someone at one time or another, or even done something else that can be considered abusive. I'm sure it wasn't your finest hour. It seems, especially in our society, that people forget the old adage, "treat people as you would like to be treated." Domestic violence has to do with manipulation and control of a partner. It is very much about the abuser's own insecurities and need to dominate. Domestic violence doesn't really have anything to do with "anger management issues." It is a learned behavior, something the abuser has perhaps seen acted out at home in their parents relationship, or modeled elsewhere. You shouldn't have to walk around on eggshells around your partner for fear how they may react to certain things. That's not healthy.

A normal relationship is linear. There are ups and downs. It begins with a honeymoon period. When disagreements arise, there is tension, but with that comes discussion and compromise. It eventually goes back to a period of status quo. However, an abusive relationship is cyclical. It begins the same as a normal relationship. However, when issues arise there is an explosion after the tension phase. The explosion is where the abuse occurs. Afterwards, it's back to the honeymoon period.. . and round and round it goes until the cycle is broken (if it is). The cycle could be broken by the victim leaving or standing up for themselves. Hopefully it doesn't ends with the victim's death. This is where domestic violence centers come in. They strive to help victim's get help, and move on.

I have so much more to say... I don't even know where to begin to be honest. I could go on and on about the sense of entitlement in our generation. People think they can do and act as they please--treating others however they wish. To avoid writing a book here, I'll just leave you with a couple 'Did you know?' thoughts to think about and this: no one deserves to have to live with someone who controls/dictates their life or constantly speaks down to them.

Did you know?
* Fathers who batter mothers are two times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children than are non-violent fathers.
American Psychl. Ass'n, Violence and the Family (1996)

* In one study, 27% of domestic homicide victims were children.
Florida Governor's Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence

* Each year, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by family members against their mothers or female caretakers.
American Psychl. Ass'n, Violence and the Family (1996)

Bringing Kettlebells to the World

2008-04-23T05:52:00.008-04:00

... Or to the two people that read this silly blog

I remember the first time I picked up a kettlebell. I nearly broke my neck (I'll get to that in a moment). After doing careful research, and getting some additional insight from my friend's husband who trains with them, I ordered one of my guy friends a 44 lb (1.25 poods) kettlebell for Christmas.

I think I underestimated what 44 lbs feels like. I tripped on the concrete steps outside of my condo while carrying the darn thing out to my car. I had some bruises (not to mention the damage I did to my ego), and hurt my leg pretty bad. I was limping around for a few days, and couldn't run for a couple weeks. A kettlebell that size is obviously too heavy for me (at least at the moment, but I'm ambitious).

Anyway, I started training with a 25 lb kettlebell (Go Fit). I struggled with my workouts at first. I know 25 lbs doesn't seem like a lot of weight, but you have no idea until you start swinging it over your head and doing back-to-back exercises without any rest. Your heart rate is up as if you've been running in no time at all. You're working your core muscles all at once, and improving your overall strength and balance. You'd be surprised at how you feel the next day. I know it keeps me coming back for more.

So, after work yesterday I went straight to Dick's Sporting Goods
to pick up another kettlebell. I already had a 10 lb bell, but needed a 25 lb one. I walked in as if I'm on a mission. I noticed that they had moved the bells from their normal location to the back wall with all of the other weights. I stood in front of the display, knowing what I'd come there for, but still checking it out nonetheless. There were two Dick's employees standing off to my right. I glanced over because I could see them watching me with curiosity. I could almost sense them glance at each other like, "does this girl know what she's doing?" One of them stepped toward me, asking if I needed help. Being the bad ass that I pretend I am, I grabbed the 25 lb kettlebell as if it weighs no more than a 5 lb bag of flour, and I brisky said, "Nope, I'm good. Thanks!" as I made my way up to the register to pay. I looked back and the two guys are still standing there watching me. I had to laugh. I might be small, but I've been training with KETTLEBELLS! Don't underestimate me! haha

If you're looking for a challenging workout that you can do at home, you should try it out for yourself. I'm no expert, but I can offer some knowledge regarding workouts and the proper size bell for your fitness level.

My typical workout is:
8 Squats then 8 Swings (repeat for three sets)
8 Bent Over Rows (each arm) then 8 Swings (repeat for 3 sets)
8 High Pulls then 8 Swings (repeat for 3 sets)
8 Bench Press (laying on the floor) then 8 Swings (repeat for 3 sets)
8 Crunches (legs straight up, arms holding kettlebell above you) (repeat for 3 sets)

Rainy Monday

2008-04-21T06:10:00.003-04:00

I was very tempted to stay in bed on this rainy Monday to spend the day sleeping and reading. I am pleased my little rain dance on Saturday worked! The trees should be washed of most of their pollen for now. Hopefully, those of us stricken with allergies can breathe easier for the next few days.

Here's Blind Melon's No Rain for your musical enjoyment this morning.

Trees are evil

2008-04-19T23:49:00.005-04:00

About a week ago, in secret meeting held while we were all sound asleep, the trees banded together forming a conspiracy club in which they plotted to take over. They distracted us with their beautiful blossoms, all the while crippling our senses with the militia of pollen particles that marched in overnight. My allergy meds were working until the trees started popping. Allegra-D seems to be no match, and I am now defenseless. Pollen has never made me feel more miserable. So, until the attack ends, I'm keeping a chainsaw in my back pocket.

Watch out for the gun show!

2008-04-18T15:43:00.010-04:00

How I know my workouts are paying off...

So, I ate dinner at Panera Bread a couple weeks ago with one of my friends. Right before we left, I wanted to hit the restroom. When I entered the stall, I immediately saw water all over the seat from the previous person flushing. I considered going to the other stall, but it was labeled handicap so I reached over to grab a bunch of paper to wipe off the water instead. Did I mention that I hate the way toilet paper rolls are in public restrooms? The stupid plastic cover is always in the way. I had to reach inside to turn the roll in order to unravel it. So... I grabbed it just enough that I could pull it easily, and I yanked it. Hard. Well, I must not know my own strength because "Whoosh!" the plastic housing thing for the rolls FLEW open, and the roll went "Kaplunk!" right into the toilet bowl.

Yes, I know I am a mess.

There was a split second where I thought about pulling it out, but I hesitated--wondering what I was going to do once I got it out. While I considered my options, the roll slid down to the bottom, so that it was completely submerged, and there was no way I was retrieving it without gloves.

I switched stalls, and someone else entered the bathroom while I considered what to do. They ended up calling someone that worked there to clean it up. All the while I'm in the other stall giggling to myself. Long story short, I never did get to go! I kinda bolted out of there (after washing my hands of course!).

Just in case you're wondering... Yes, I am aware that some poor sap working at Panera had to remove the roll from the toilet. I justify this by reminding myself that I've cleaned up for enough people in my life that I deserve to leave this one thing for someone else to clean. I've paid my dues in service related jobs; it builds character! Besides, it's not my fault I'm so incredibly strong.

To the one, ok maybe two, people that read this blog... Happy Friday! :o)

Rise and Shine!

2008-04-17T05:28:00.003-04:00

This Thursday is brought to your computer by the Letter W. So, WAKE UP! Friday's almost here :)

Hump Day!

2008-04-16T17:37:00.003-04:00

Unlike The Jilly, I actually like Wednesdays. The first part of the week is over, and there's only about one and a half more solid work days left in the week (everyone seems to either jet out early on Fridays or slack off a bit). Plus, I giggle inside at referring to Wednesdays as hump day (tee hee). In honor of that, insert The Humpty Dance song here :)

Hey, I'm just glad it's not Monday (those are always hard for me), and I think everyone that had to be around me yesterday will agree they're happy it's not Tuesday. It's never a good day when someone refers to you as a "Grumpy-saurus." That's gotta be some sort of mutated dinosaur... Scary! So, Wednesday, I welcome you with open arms.

Cinematic Adventure!

2008-04-14T20:51:00.004-04:00

I can't get Dane Cook's comedy routine on going to the movies out of my head for some reason today. Check it out :)

Censorship @!#$

2008-04-13T10:18:00.002-04:00

I listen to Mix 106.5 on the radio every morning (yeah, I realize this makes me look old) while I get ready for work. Before I got in the shower on Friday, Meredith Brooks' "Bitch" was playing. I didn't really pay much attention to it. I've heard the song hundreds of times. However, while I was getting dressed, P!nk's You and Your Hand began to blare through my little alarm clock speakers. I found myself singing along until they bleeped out the word "cock" in "cock fight." I thought it odd that they allow "bitch" to fly over radio airwaves, but they bleep out an innocent phrase like "cock fight." I realize that when the words are separated, one refers to male anatomy. However, "bitch" is a swear word, right? And the term "cock fight" is pretty innocent if you know what it refers to. Censorship in the media is not consistent.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge: My letter to the Editor of Men’s Health

2008-04-12T11:19:00.002-04:00

Here's an old post on my MySpace blog:
Current mood: amused

I'm not sure how many women read Men's Health, but I got my hands on a copy of the March 2008 issue, and something jumped out at me. On page 28 (On call this issue), Laura Berman, Ph.D. was featured as an on call expert. In response to questions such as, "Do I look fat in this?" that women will often ask men, she instructs to reply with, "I love you, but I don't engage in those talks." While I don't have a Ph.D. in psychology to back up my following comments, I do have experience as a woman in this particular area, and I can tell you that a statement like that will only cause more issues. I agree with Ms. Berman that no matter how the question is answered, the poor guy is in trouble. However, I would like to offer some different advice to your readers, and that is to get the heck out of there (in the conversational sense)! I think Rip Torn (Patches O'Houlihan) summed it up in the 20^th Century Fox movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) when he said, "dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge." Let's face it; relationships between men and women can be very similar to a competitive game of dodgeball. Both parties are trying to stay in the game without being thrown out, while still maximizing the fun factor and minimizing possibility of injury.

In my experience there are two kinds of women. There is the rare woman that asks a question, and truly wants an honest answer; and the average woman that wants the illusion of the truth. If you're so lucky to be involved with the "rare woman," you can simply answer her questions with no strings attached. This kind of woman won't ambush you from behind. However, if you're with the "average woman," you have three options. You can either tell her what she wants to hear without sounding insincere (heaven help you if she doesn't buy what you say), avoid the subject entirely without blatantly stating that you are avoiding it, or start World War III by confronting her that she's not seekinga truthful response from you. So, to recap, you can pacify, avoid (dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!), or argue. Option two is probably the most appealing, but it takes some skill and practice. There is no fool proof method of avoidance that works across the board with every woman.

Now, while I am a woman, I still cannot explain why we (women) insist on asking questions about our weight, past girlfriends, or whether you find someone else attractive. If you're wise though, when confronted with such a loaded question, you should just change the subject or distract her somehow. Do it smoothly and discreetly though.

I lost my pants

2008-04-12T11:04:00.002-04:00

Ok so, I recently helped my friend Tim test out his new studio lights and build his portfolio by taking some photos. I posted the following photo as my new profile picture on MySpace this week: http://www.pbase.com/bowman1/image/95266283

I guess people haven't really seen me this way before because I'm getting a lot of feedback... like "damn look at you" and such. I have nothing against compliments, but I don't take what's to come as one.

Last night I got home from work and logged into my email, and found this note, in addition to a phone number, from a guy I went to high school with:

"You are looking great these days, not saying you didn't before, but more noticeable now. I guess I never really payed attention. If you are single, I would like to take you out sometime. Give me a call"

OK. Let me just say right off... I notice a couple spelling mistakes and grammatical errors right off. That's annoying. Secondly, you should NEVER admit to a woman that you didn't notice her before, nor did you pay attention. AND let me guess! Maybe the FACT I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS made me more noticeable! That's just a hunch; call me crazy. When you show a little skin, guys act retarded (there's just no better adjective for it).

*Afterthought: I should have prefaced this by saying that my MySpace profile is set to private, and the person who emailed me has been on my friends list for over a year. So, he's had access to my other photos, etc.